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at once
historical, profane, blasphemous, comedic and vulgar Stand-up Tragedy
- Shakespeare in the Lounge!! "In
the classical argots of: See
this One Apostle
Show Aug 3
Boog City 8 as part of Poets Theater Complete Info and
Locations Below
What actually transpired Easter
Week/Passover 33 A.D.?
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Culled from First Century Texts and drawn from dozens of biblical and secular sources, these monologues tell a revisionist tale of what transpired in Judea, Easter Week/Passover 33 AD and beyond during the reign of the Roman Emperor Tiberius. In the classical argots of Petronius, Rabelais, Chaucer, Shakespeare, Lenny Bruce, Guy Ritchie, James Joyce, David Jones, Cockney and the world's myriad cryptolects, The Canaanite Gospel strips bare the New Testament canard of the Resurrection of Yeshu of Nazareth and pokes a stick in the eye of the Synoptic Gospels.
A full performance/reading of 12 to 14 monologues runs approximately 80 minutes with a 10 minute break. For more info or to schedule contact Carlo Parcelli at 301-927-8323 or email: [email protected] NOTE: For performances Mr. Parcelli appears in full 1st Century A.D. costume.
The Canaanite Gospel is comprised of 88
monologues with 64 different characters. A selection of early text versions of 40
of the Audio of six of the monologues can be
found here:
Guns and Ammo * IHOP Dinner Mats * Ted Haggard's Sunday Bible Class * the Naval Defense Annual * Christian Pole Dancers' Weekly * the Watchtower * the Rostock Freitag * the National Review * the Smut Locker * the Ypsilanti Courier * Liberty University's Commencement Brochure * Dog Whistle Diaries * Soppy Tart * Pipe Fitters Manual SE-1467: Addendum C * Kitty Kuplets * the Vatican Bank Newsletter * Russell Simmon's Fashion Poetry Street Slam and FlashPoint Magazine. In 1995 Mr. Parcelli's epic romp through the secular eschatology of Western epistemology * 'Deconstructing the Demiurge: Tale of the Tribe * ' was "deemed unfit for human consumption" by Poetry Magazine * Conjunctions * The Antioch Review * the Parcelli Family Christmas Newsletter * Poet Lore * the Blotto Lotus * Prairie Schooner * Bleeding Ulcer and the FDA News Letter.
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From the Canaanite Gospel:
[A]nd as for Simon, knew me a lot a Simons
But I don't truck wif no thug Simons.
--- Martha
And as Virgil casts the same by Cumae cooze,
Ain't I the literate fuckin' guinea hopes to read in me palm
Mugshots a Tibi on silver stamp
Me little cuntie magpies bein' attracted to shiny objects.
--- Oranius
I prosper as me people, just as we are.
What cast out Saul is timely to me.
Who to slay his ten thousands and how to proceed.
No bloody timeless fiction a good will
When none's to ground.
--- Jesus Barabbas
Power arrests indulgence
So best indulge
In the torments power affords.
And such prissy disposed
Can suck teardrops from me cock
As close to ichor be they get.
--- Tiberius Julius Caesar Augustus
And I be, 'go yourfuckin'self, mister.
Do I the looks a Samson.
Work one your stunts
Wif pulleys and levers
'Stead all day be winchin' up lady Magda's skirts.'
--- Johanna Chusa
So I beg your pardon, I knows where me knifes been and me mouf
And how bofe got there by the laws.
--- Simon Kananaios
Me eldest son, Ace, I heard
Was killed at the edge a the world
Not a full year in the ranks,
Head stoved in by a naked blue man
Wif his pecker hangin' out
Or that's the tellin'.
--- Gaviolus
What of us to credit publicans and fishmongers
Over rule and the law;
A corpse a some vagabond
What promised deliverance
And can't even keep his own.
--- Safiya
And he, "Bitch if ye knew the gift
What say a thee water
Thou wouldn' balk
But straigtway be wet about thy well."
And ta gall says I, "Sir, 'pears thou has little
Ta draw wif and this well be deep."
--- Nalda, the Samaritan Woman
If I tell you me doubt was warrant
How will I be fed?
If I tell you Yeshua was me twin
How will you say he does not live in me?
--- Juda Didymus Thomas
No mistake. I loved him dear. But
Not our addled rebbi to this purpose
As what I have set in motion.
--- Mary Magdala
The Canaanite Gospel � 2010 For
more info or to schedule a performance Mr. Parcelli is a founding editor of:
FlashPoint: A Literary Journal of the Arts and
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