AUTHOR'S NOTES ON STAGING: I envision a stark and simple set for each scene that will allow the magic of the theater to work on the imaginations of the audience to create a bridge and a hotel room. The first scene is located on "THE PEDESTRIAN DECK OF A RIVER BRIDGE." The set or props needed are: (1) a box (which may be composed of smaller boxes) that is 1 to 2 feet high, at least 3 feet wide, and 6 feet long, and (2) a 6-foot step ladder open on top of this box. This is the bridge's superstructure that the BANKER climbs -- first on to the box and then half-way (3 steps) up the ladder. The WITCH'S bag contains her wand and a blanket. This set can be transformed to the hotel room in less than 20 seconds -- in the dark. The ladder is folded and either removed or placed flat on the floor behind the box. The WITCH takes the blanket from her bag, removes her sweater and puts it into her bag, reclines on the box (which is now a bed), and covers herself with the blanket. A stagehand gives the BANKER a chair. He removes his suit coat, hangs it over the chair, unknots his tie, and opens the top button of his shirt. When lights come up for Scene Two, the BANKER is ready to start tying his tie, and the WITCH is watching him from the bed.
SCENE: 1
SETTING:
THE PEDESTRIAN DECK OF A RIVER BRIDGE.
CHARACTERS AND STAGE DIRECTIONS:
THE BANKER (45, HANDSOME, ATHLETIC, DRESSED FOR SUCCESS) ENTERS AND CLIMBS UP INTO THE BRIDGE'S
SUPERSTRUCTURE. THE WITCH (60, WORN, DRESSED LIKE A BAG LADY) ENTERS, SEES THE BANKER, AND
CALLS UP TO HIM.
WITCH
HEY...What are you doing up there, Sonny?
BANKER
I'm getting ready to JUMP. I'm going to KILL myself.
WITCH
Oh, no! What a waste! A fine-looking young fellow like you. Why would you want to go and do a thing like that? On
such a beautiful day?
BANKER
I'M DONE FOR. It's all over for me...I'm the manager of Big City Bank, and I've embezzled thousands of dollars. The Bank
Examiner arrived today. He'll soon figure out what I've done.
WITCH
OH! Is that all? This is your lucky day, Sonny. I'm a Witch...
(THE WITCH RUMMAGES THROUGH HER SHOPPING BAG AND PRODUCES A WAND.)
Look here's my wand. I can solve that problem for you. Easy.
BANKER
WHAT? You're a WITCH? Really? And you can solve my problem?
WITCH
SURE I CAN, SONNY. Replacing money and doctoring records are easy for me. How much did you take?
(THE BANKER ADDS AMOUNTS IN HIS HEAD.)
BANKER
Twenty-five...No. Twenty-seven thousand dollars. How can you...
(THE WITCH WAVES HER WAND.)
WITCH
SHHH! DON'T DISTURB ME. I'm going to cast a spell. (SHE CLOSES HER EYES.) TWENTY-SEVEN THOUSAND
DOLLARS. TWENTY-SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. TWENTY-SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. (SHE OPENS
HER EYES AND LISTENS CAREFULLY FOR FOUR SECONDS.) THERE! It's done. The money is back in the vault,
and the books have been cooked...to perfection.
BANKER
What about the computer records?
WITCH
Taken care of. That Bank Examiner will never suspect a thing, Sonny. Come down from there now and live a full life.
BANKER
THANKS. That was amazing! How did you do it?
WITCH
I'll never tell. We witches have our little secrets. You can forget about killing yourself and climb down now.
(THE BANKER TAKES TWO STEPS DOWN AND STOPS.)
BANKER
OH, NO! I almost forgot.
(THE BANKER CLIMBS BACK TO HIS PERCH.)
WITCH
Forgot what?
BANKER
I didn't tell you my whole sad story...I've been having an affair with my secretary. She just found out that she's pregnant.
She wants me to divorce my wife and marry her. She's threatened to tell my wife. I can't face all that. I've got to jump.
WITCH
NO. WAIT! I can fix that too. What's her name? (SHE CLOSES HER EYES AND WAVES HER WAND.)
BANKER
Shaynee. Shaynee Haut.
WITCH
SHAYNEE HAUT. SHAYNEE HAUT. SHAYNEE HAUT.
BANKER
What did you do?
(THE WITCH KEEPS HER EYES CLOSED AND GESTURES WITH HER FREE HAND FOR THE BANKER TO BE
SILENT. AFTER FIVE MORE SECONDS, SHE OPENS HER EYES.)
WITCH
You almost messed that up, Sonny. Don't ever talk to me while I'm doing one of my incantations. You'll disrupt my
concentration. You can come down now. Your poor secretary just had a miscarriage.
BANKER (CLIMBING DOWN)
AMAZING! This is wonderful. It is a beautiful day...You've saved my life. How can I repay you?
WITCH
To tell you the truth, Sonny, I'm an old woman...and as you can see I'm not very attractive anymore. You should've
seen me in my thirties. I was a hot number back then. But now, despite my powers as a witch, it's hard for me to find
handsome young men like yourself who are willing to make mad, passionate love to me. If you'd take me to that hotel
over there, (SHE POINTS.) rent a room, and ravish me tenderly...that would be a kindness I'd never forget.
BANKER
You DID save my life...You WOULD take a shower first, wouldn't you?
WITCH
OF COURSE! I'd love to have a nice, relaxing bubble bath. Could we stop for some bubble stuff on our way to the hotel?
BANKER
Certainly. Let's go.
(BLACKOUT. END SCENE 1)
SCENE: 2
SETTING:
A HOTEL BEDROOM
STAGE DIRECTIONS:
THE WITCH IS LYING IN BED, AND THE BANKER IS GETTING DRESSED.
WITCH
OH,MY...That was WONDERFUL! You're a real animal when you get going.
BANKER
You're not so bad yourself...considering your age and all.
WITCH
Do you have to leave so soon? Can't you stay...
BANKER
I really should get back...
WITCH
I was hoping we could call room service and have dinner sent up. Can't you spend the night with me?
BANKER
No, no...I need to...
WITCH
After all, I DID save your life.
BANKER
I know. And I AM grateful. (PAUSE.) It's amazing. This was the worst and the best day of my life. This morning I was
sure I'd be dead by now...
WITCH
What a waste THAT would have been!
BANKER
And now it's clear sailing! I have my life back...With the problems scraped off.
WITCH
Then you're willing to spend the night with me?
BANKER
I'd like to, of course, but I've got to get back to the bank by four. I want to talk to the Examiner before he leaves, and
I'd like to see how Shaynee is handling her miscarriage.
WITCH
Oh, well. Okay. (PAUSE.)
BANKER
It's not that I'm not grateful. I really am.
WITCH
Sure. Sure. I understand. (PAUSE.) Tell me, Sonny. How old are you?
BANKER (SURPRISED)
I'm forty-five. Why?
WITCH (THOUGHTFUL)
Forty-five...And you STILL believe in WITCHES?
(BLACKOUT)
END