SETTING: Two weak, emaciated women, ROCKY and BOBBIE, (any age from 25 to 45) wearing tattered clothing are sprawled in a life raft. A fishing line trails from ROCKY'S side of the raft. To simulate being in the middle of the ocean, they slowly, silently bob and rock not quite in unison for 10 seconds. BOBBIE smiles and bobs, and ROCKY frowns and rocks. BOBBIE'S body moves forward and back as the waves pass under the raft. Her upper body is nodding "YES." ROCKY'S body moves side-to-side as though she is saying "NO." Once they start speaking, they stop bobbing and rocking. BOBBIE is usually up-beat, positive, and cheerful. ROCKY is jaded and negative, but she never whines. She believes she is wiser than BOBBIE. She sometimes rolls her eyes when BOBBIE is talking. BOTH are usually animated and enthusiastic when they are speaking.
(BOBBY TRIES TO PLAY A SONG ON A HARMONICA, BUT SHE STOPS AFTER A FEW SECONDS)
ROCKY (HOLDING UP A WATER BOTTLE)
Look at this, Bobbie. Our last bottle of water is already half-empty.
BOBBY
No, Rocky. It's still half-full.
ROCKY
When this is gone it'll be: "Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink."
BOBBIE
At least it's a clear day. Not a cloud in the sky.
ROCKY
That just means there's no chance of rain.
BOBBIE
It'll be easy for the rescuers to see us.
ROCKY
Without fresh water we'll be dead by tomorrow.
BOBBIE
We still might catch a fish. That could keep us alive.
ROCKY
Don't count on it. I ate the bait.
BOBBIE
What? You ate the bait?
(ROCKY PULLS IN THE FISHING LINE AND SHOWS BOBBIE THE EMPTY HOOK.)
ROCKY
In case you haven't noticed: I'm starving to death over here.
BOBBIE
I'm starving too. But I didn't eat the bait.
ROCKY
What can I say? "You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din."
(BOBBIE RIPS HER SHIRT ENOUGH TO TEAR OFF A PIECE OF CLOTH.)
BOBBIE
HERE, Rocky. Give me that fishhook. I've got an idea.
(ROCKY HANDS IT TO BOBBIE WHO ATTACHES THE PIECE OF CLOTH SHE TORE FROM HER SHIRT TO THE HOOK. SHE THROWS THE BAITED HOOK OVERBOARD AND WORKS THE FISHING LINE.)
BOBBIE
If a hungry fish wanders by, he might think this piece of cloth is something good to eat. (PAUSE) I'm surprised we haven't seen a cruise ship. The commercials on TV are full of them...Crowds of beautiful people eating and dancing and playing games.
ROCKY
Get real. No fancy cruise ships are around here. No beautiful people. Nothing but empty ocean.
BOBBIE
The Navy and the Coast Guard are probably looking for us.
ROCKY
HELLO? You still don't get it, do you? We're dying. We're done for. We're goners. Dead meat.
BOBBIE
Don't give up. Look on the bright side...
ROCKY (INTERRUPTING)
The bright side of dying? The only bright side I can see right now is that you're too dried out to play your harmonica.
BOBBIE
Another good thing: I was finally able to quit smoking.
ROCKY
You didn't quit. You just ran out of cigarettes.
BOBBIE
That's how I was able to stop, but I've quit for good.
ROCKY
(PAUSE.) I miss our fishing boat. It was beautiful. And now it's down in Davy Jones' locker.
BOBBIE
Don't worry, Rocky. It was insured. We'll get another one just as good. Maybe we'll even get a better boat.
ROCKY
What good is our insurance now? We won't collect. We'll die out here. This is the last day of my life, and I've got to spend it dying. Dying is a rotten way to spend my last day on Earth.
BOBBIE
Everybody's got to die sometime.
ROCKY
Is that supposed to make me feel better? Why now? Why here? In this God-forsaken place? With no land in sight.
BOBBIE
As long as you're breathing, there's still hope. Hey. We haven't tried praying yet.
ROCKY
Praying?
BOBBIE
We could ask God to help us. Do you know any prayers?
ROCKY (PRAYING)
"IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I WAKE, I PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO TAKE."
BOBBIE
"If I should die?" Wait a minute. I intend to get rescued.
ROCKY (THOUGHTFULLY)
"I pray the Lord my soul to take." What do you think happens to all the souls the Lord doesn't take?
BOBBIE (PLEASED WITH HER INSIGHT)
Maybe that's where ghosts come from.
ROCKY (WORRIED)
Ghosts?
BOBBIE (ENTHUSIASTIC)
Sure. Maybe ghosts are souls that just go on hanging around wherever they died. Because the Lord didn't take them.
ROCKY (MORE AND MORE WORRIED)
You mean even after we're dead our souls could stay out here in this empty ocean?
BOBBIE
Guess so.
ROCKY (MORE AND MORE WORRIED)
Maybe God doesn't even know we're out here. Maybe this place really is God-forsaken...It's bad enough suffering and dying. I hate the thought of hanging around as a ghost too. For how long? Forever? For all eternity?
BOBBIE (PLEASED WITH HER INSIGHT)
Probably just till the end of the world.
ROCKY
But where will we go when the world's all gone and there's no ocean here anymore? Will we float around in space? Will there be any space for us to float around in? I thought this was a matter of life and death. Now I see that the possibilities are much worse. I could be a ghost. Floating through space. Maybe forever.
BOBBIE
You should pray to be rescued.
ROCKY
Do you know any prayers?
BOBBIE
I think I can remember some Catholic prayers.
ROCKY
You're not a Catholic.
BOBBIE (ENTHUSIASTIC)
When I was a kid, we lived next door to a Catholic church for awhile. Every week they'd say some of their prayers over a loudspeaker. At night I'd lie in bed and listen to them.
ROCKY
Can you remember any of them now?
BOBBIE
Let's see...(MONOTONE) "Under the BEE, TWELVE. TWELVE under BEE...Under the EYE, SEVENTEEN. SEVENTEEN under EYE...
(ROCKY IS PERPLEXED AT FIRST, BUT WHEN SHE REALIZES THAT WHAT BOBBIE IS RECITING IS THE CALL OF A BINGO GAME, SHE INTERRUPTS HER WITH A GROAN OF DESPAIR.)
ROCKY
Oh, no, Bobbie. That's not a prayer. That's a bingo game.
BOBBIE
Of course, it is Rocky. During those bingo games they really pray. Everybody wants to hear whatever number they need to win. They beg God for that number. And when they get it they thank God.
ROCKY
This isn't a bingo game. I don't have a bingo card. I don't even know what number to pray for. Or what...
BOBBIE (INTERRUPTING)
BINGO!
ROCKY
What?
BOBBIE
I caught a fish. (BOBBIE PULLS IN A SMALL FISH.) Prepare to enjoy some sushi.
ROCKY
I hate raw fish. Besides, that one's too small to feed both of us. It's not even big enough for just one of us.
BOBBIE
Okay. I'll use this little fish as bait. To catch a big fish.
ROCKY (FRIGHTENED)
Like that shark?
BOBBIE (PLEASED)
SHARK? WHERE?
ROCKY (POINTING)
Over there. And there. They're everywhere.
BOBBIE
Maybe I could catch one.
ROCKY (WORRIED)
Up till now I was afraid I'd starve to death. Or die of thirst. Or maybe even drown. But now I see an even more dreadful possibility: I could have sharks chomping on me till nothing's left.
(BOBBIE FISHES FOR A SHARK.)
BOBBIE (PLEASED WITH HER INSIGHT)
Your SOUL would still remain.
ROCKY
I'd be a ghost with shark bites.
BOBBIE
These sharks are huge. We could feast on one of them for a whole week.
(THE SOUND OF AN APPROACHING AIRPLANE BEGINS FAINTLY AND GROWS LOUDER.)
ROCKY
Some feast. I tried shark once. Didn't like it at all. We probably couldn't chew raw shark.
BOBBIE
I hear something. Yes. (POINTING) It's an airplane.
ROCKY
They'll never see us. These waves are bigger than our raft.
(BOBBIE WAVES HER ARMS.)
BOBBIE (SHOUTING)
HERE WE ARE.
ROCKY
They can't hear you.
BOBBIE
Shine our mirror at the plane.
ROCKY
Where is it?
BOBBIE (POINTING)
The mirror is next to your foot.
(ROCKY LOOKS AT THE MIRROR.)
ROCKY
Oh, no. I look as bad as you do.
BOBBIE
Reflect the sunlight toward the plane. (POINTS) Up there.
(ROCKY FUMBLES WITH THE MIRROR.)
ROCKY
This won't work.
BOBBIE
They're coming right at us. They must see us.
(SOUND OF PLANE PASSING OVERHEAD.)
ROCKY
They're gone. They missed us.
BOBBIE (ENTHUSIASTIC)
No. They're turning. It's a Coast Guard plane. They'll send a ship to get us...Or maybe a helicopter. They're coming back. They've dropped something for us.
(SOUND OF PLANE PASSING OVERHEAD.)
ROCKY
If that box hits us, it'll sink our raft for sure. And feed us to the sharks.
BOBBIE
It's got a parachute. It will land softly.
(THEY WATCH A BOX-AND-CHUTE LAND NEXT TO THEM. BOBBIE GRASPS THE BOX, PULLS IT INTO THE RAFT, AND EXAMINES IT.)
BOBBIE
Here's a note: "A ship will be here within three hours."
ROCKY
Three hours? We could be dead by then. These sharks could tip over our raft and eat us.
BOBBIE (TAKING ITEMS FROM THE BOX)
Look, Rocky. Here's some shark-repellant...Bottled water...Candy bars.... First we chase the sharks away.
(BOBBIE POURS A PACKET OF SHARK-REPELLANT INTO THE OCEAN)
ROCKY
I've heard that shark-repellant actually attracts barracuda.
BOBBIE (OFFERING)
Would you like a water bottle? Or a candy bar?
ROCKY (TAKING)
Both.
(THEY BOTH DRINK.)
BOBBIE
Look. That shark repellent really works. They're all swimming away. This really is a beautiful day.
ROCKY (RANTING)
When we get home, if we ever do get home, which we probably won't, we're going to have to start haggling with some insurance adjuster.
BOBBIE
I think this is the best day of my life.
ROCKY
And you. You'll be smoking cigarettes again before we get a dime. If we ever do get a dime, which we probably won't...
(BOBBIE TAKES OUT HER HARMONICA AND PLAYS "ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT...")
ROCKY
Oh, No. Not that again. (PAUSE WHILE BOBBIE PLAYS THE HARMONICA.) My ghost will probably hear you playing that thing. Even when I'm dead.
BOBBY (SINGING)
"Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily. Life is but a dream."
END